Day 3099 : (4)4828289 steps

Sorry I haven't posted in a while but more reviews soon. What have I been watching, you may well ask? Indeed, you might and so I will tell. Some film reviews coming soon will include the 70's girl gang epic, "Switchblade Sisters", the daft 80's Mad Max meets The Seven Samuri epic, "World Gone Wild" (Should have called it "The MadMaxian Seven!!") and the early 70's creepy "Tower of Evil". Also, some more to come about 'Hammer House of Horror'.
So where have I been? Just doing other stuff such as playing Pokemon again and just this and that, y'know...work, rest and play stuff.
So, expect some reviews over the next few days but for now just an apology and a promise that normal service, whatever that may be, will be resumed as soon as possible.

Day 3079 : (4)4555175 steps

The long over due post....

I've been kinda busy but that doesn't mean I haven't been seeking out things to review. So without further excuses on my part...

Armchair Thriller : Quiet as a Nun

After seeing that Hammer House of Horror I got to thinking about other things that had scared me witless as a child. 'Armchair Thriller' was a show from Thames Television back in the late 70's. I always remembered two things about it. The first was the spooky intro sequence which pictured an armchair (duh!) in a semi-darkened room. Along comes a shadow of a man which walks up to seat and appears to sit in it. And, just to make that final impact the eerie music swells as the shadow opens it's hands and the camera zooms quickly into the face of the spectre. Always used to put the willies up me then and I'm not sure if I have childhood issues or something but I still find it unnerving now, wuss that I am!

So to the episode in question. Well, I thought it was just an episode but it turns out to be six but memories of the show are limited to one scene inparticular. The scene in question is when Jemima Shore, the lead character (who later went on to have a series dedicated to her investigations called, origianlly, 'Jemima Shore Investigates'), while expolring an old tower near the nunnery encounters the Black Nun (no relation to the Blue Nun, that awful table wine favoured by elderly brits abroad). Here is the clip....here!

Now, even now I still think the nun looks pretty evil but back when I was about eight years old I thought it was terrifying, espescially since I then had to go up to my room on my own and tidy up my lego that I'd been playing with earlier. It didn't help having two older brothers telling me that the Black Nun was going to get me while I was up there. No sirrreeee!

Anyway, nostalgia aside, the entire saga is on youtube so you can go and check it out for yourselves if you really want to but I wasn't overly impressed with the entire thing. Although some of the performances are great and there are some very atmospheric moments, it is generally a bit slow and also ends in a very contrived manner, almost like an episode of Scooby Doo. It does have a mixed bag castwise too,including David Burke (Dr Watson in the Sherlock Holmes TV show by Granada), James Laurenson (who appeared in 'The Monster Club' amongst other things...but more about that later!) and a very young Patsy Kensit as one of the convent schoolgirls who doesn't give too bad a performance to be honest.

So, perhaps more Armchair Thrillers soon (as there is another episode that creeped me out back then but for different reasons)...? Maybe.
Dead Snow

Horray for zombies!! Double huzzah for zombie nazis!!!! Had a voucher for a free DVD rental from our local Blockbuster but since they didn't stock my preferred title ('Tokyo Gore Police') I went for this Norwegian effort instead. That makes it sound like I was disappointed and that this film turned out to be a chore but that's not true. I'd heard good things about 'Dead Snow' and seen a few clips and was intrigued enough to want to see it. I mean, it's not often that a decent zombie flick comes around so make the most of 'em when they do.

It's the usual premise of the bunch of teenagers go holidaying in an isolated cottage and unwittingly unleash an old evil that'll kill them all. This time the cottage is a chalet in the snowy mountains and frozen fjords of Norway, the teenagers are a group of medical students that provide the usual death fodder for the ol' evil...yes, nazi zombies!!! Do they kill them all? Well, without this being a spoiler for a number of reasons, yes they do. Why is this not a spoiler? Firstly, I'm really struggling to remember any zombie film where the undead lose to the living. Can anyone think of any? Secondly, my oldest son asked what happens and I told him everyone dies. Thinking this rather sad, I comforted him by explaining how horror flicks will often add a twist ending (sometimes for no reasonable reason!) in which the final survivor will die or at least left in mortal peril. To illustrate I showed him the final scenes from the original 'Friday 13th' and 'Nightmare on Elm Street'! Much humour was gleaned from Nancy's dummy Mom being dragged through the window (especially as I showed it over and over again quickly adding my own daft sound effects). Anyway, I digress...

'Dead Snow' goes overboard on the grue when things eventually get going. Yes, it's a bit slow to start but it soon warms up. The setting is nice and bleak, the zombies are always more evil-looking when dressed in the garb of the Third Reich and the gore is slapstick and sickenening in equal doses. For a low budget film it does very well, delivering what it says on the tin with aplomb! I only ask, please, no sequal!! There is no need and it just wouldn't work.

Hammer House of Horror : Rude Awakening

Yes, I've also seen another episode. This one, I believe was the first one to be aired and featured Denholm Elliot as an estate agent who gets caught up in a macabre 'Groundhog Day' sort of plot. He plans to leave his wife and marry his secretary but when he visits a rundown country house for a valuation he is accused of murdering his wife by a disembodied voice as the body of his spouse tumbles out of the dumb waiter. He awakes, writes it all off as a bad dream but then it all starts to happen again, in a roundabout way. Each dream is different slightly (for example, the secretary goes through a variety of fashion disasters, the house is delapidated, then not there at all and then back but well kept, etc) but they always end with the voice accusing him of murder. The voice is provided by the man who enters the office at the beginning of the story and sends Denholm to the house...James Laurenson again!!! Okay, so it's only a minor coincidence but these things have a habit of snowballing in my tiny mind.

This episode was nowhere near as unnerving as the Doppelganger story mentioned earlier but it was enjoyable nonetheless. I'll probably mention more episodes as I see them.

Now, talking of coincidences, I mentioned zombies never lose, yes? Well, I had a quick game of Top Trumps with my son earlier using the Horror deck. After a long, drawn out game, I eventually won. Why do I mention this? Well, I beat his last card with a none too special one of my own. Yeah, you guessed the twist ending to this tale. It was the zombie card!!! What are the chances of that happening, eh?

:p

Day 3070 : (4)4407730

Hammer House of Horror - Two Faces of Evil

I just had to make a post about this. Currently on the 'Men and Motors' channel are repeats of the old TV series that I used to love as a kid (I was only nine when it first aired!!), Hammer House of Horror. It was a short-lived series but when has there ever been a long-running horror series on television?

Anyway, last night I saw the 'Two Faces of Evil' episode which is one I did not recall ever seeing in my 'yoof' and good job too. Why? Well, because from the initial sight of the yellow sowesta-wearing hitch-hiker the whole episode was just eerie. I'm older now (duuh!), but it still had me a little creeped out.

So what happens? The hitcher is picked up by a family (husband, wife and ten year old son) who are travelling to a holdiay cottage somewhere in middle England. After making some strange gutteral noises, he attacks the husband and the car crashes. The wife wakes up in a strange hospital to find that, although her son is uninjured, her hubbie has had to undergo some surgery on his throat to remove some windshield glass. Did I say strange hospital? Yes I did. The unwholesome atmosphere continues as we meet the cold ward sister and the jolly, in a slightly insane way, doctor who is looking after them. There is something not quite right about the place, to be sure! To cut a long story short, and not to give away too many spoilers, they eventually get to their holiday cottage where, as the husband slowly recovers, the wife begins to suspect that he is not what he appears to be.
This short is pretty much carried by the performance of the wife played by Anna Calder-Marshall. She gives a very convincing portrayal considering the slightly uneven plot. Also Alan Gibson's direction, espescially in the first half of the film, is very effective in creating the unsettling feel to the goings on. Okay, so it does end in a bit of hokey-horror fashion and leaves many things unanswered (the severed hand for example! Did I mention that? No? Good...) but it did enough in the hour to keep me glued to my gogglebox for the entirety.
Expect more posts about this series as and when I see them!
:D

Day 3060 : (4)4301312 steps

44 million, 300 thousand +!! Woooohooooo! Although that's not the sound my feet are making right now. They sound more like the moaning undead from any Romero zombie flick though, luckily they've yet to get quite as ugly as those shuffling fiends.
Speaking of zombies, Derren Brown's new four part series started tonight, the first being 'How to Win the Lottery'. 'Huh?', you might say so let me explain....
I'm not sure exactly when I first became aware of the guy but I remember just thinking of him as just another stage hypnotist like Paul McKenna and their ilk. It was only when perusing the internet some years ago that I came across his 'Zombie Video Game Prank'. If you haven't seen it then here's the link.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2428437236878343763#

After seeing that (and wiping the tears of laughter away at the poor sucker's reactions to suddenly finding himself besieged by zombies), I began to watch whatever I could of Derren Brown. He is one facinating performer to say the least.

So, onto tonight's show. Firstly, I should mention that during the previous Wednesday night's Lottery draw he was broadcasting live on another channel. He successfully predicted all six of the lottery numbers and tonight's show went some way to explain the processes he used to do so. Now, already there have been various theories about this but his explanation involved a certain old phenomenom called 'The Wisdom of Crowds' which to me seemed reasonably plausable. I won't bother to explain it all here (what are you, lazy?! Go look it up yourselves ya workshy fops!!) but I will add that at the end of the show they previewed next weeks 'event' in which he will be broadcasting a subliminal film that will literally stick you to your chair! I'm asuming, as with all hypnotic suggestion, that this will not work on everyone who watches but I, for one, am quite willing to participate. I do hope he does release us subjects afterwards as I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter TIED TO THIS FUCKING COUCH!!

;)

Day 3058 : (4)4254647 steps

...."Mindhunters"!!! That was the film I mentioned in the last post that I was too drunk to remember. What was the problem with it? Well, it was the same issue I had with the first "Saw" movie in that the deathtraps were so contrived that you really had to check your brain in at the cloakroom before trying to enjoy it. Some of the deaths were grizzly enough but you cared so little for these folks that by about the halfway mark you wished the killer had offed them all at once when they were asleep after drinking doped coffee. Yes, they were all rendered unconscious for several hours (except the killer, that is!) in which time the villain went about setting various deadly traps that played on the other character's strengths and weaknesses. Okay, so maybe I'm a cynical swine but the idea of a serial killer taking the time and effort, taking what must have been years to get through FBI criminal profiling school just so he/she (I don't want to spoil it for you! :p) could off a whole bunch of them on an unpredicted, one-off field trip seems...well, you get the picture. Don't loose that cloakroom ticket now, will you?

So, last night I watched a film which I haven't seen in years. I borrowed it from a friend of mine who's eight year old daughter absolutely loves it. Yes, of course, I'm talking about "Phantasm 2"!!
I now I realise that I really need to see the first movie again as it's been so long that memories of it are limited to the flashbacks that I saw at the beginning of this sequel! I also can't remember if I ever did see the third installment too!! I heard it was disappointing and I do remember not being too impressed with part two back in the day but, however, last night I was pleasantly suprised. Okay, so it's not great but it does have some effective scary moments and some pretty cool special effects by Mark Shostrom. The melting Tall Man at the end still looks pretty gross (before you scream 'spoiler' I've already told you there's a third movie :p) and those metallic orbs are always fun to watch and this time they've got new gizmos. Are they, like, Swiss Army issue or something? Good fun as long as you like killer midgets and chainsaw fights and flying killer pinballs....not often you come across that combination in a flick, I grant you so make the most of what you can get your hands on!
Too tired to watch a movie tonight, I think but I think some more zombies should be shuffling my way very soon.
:D

Day 3055 : (4)4198833 steps

Too drunk to write anything of interest? Well, in three or so hours my kids will be awake so this is a general update with little to no meaning.I did watch a film tonight which I'll review later as I can't remember the title right now. Lol! It wasn't great but it did have some semi-gruesome deaths that deserve a mention. As soon my memory returns I'll let you know but I suspect that some sort of psychosimetic blackout is involved. It was a semi-enjoyable film as long as you didn't try to rhink too hard about it.....more later when I sober up!
:D

Day 3052 : (4)4156218 steps

I think it's time I reviewed some of my fave horror movie monster flicks. What is my favourite monster? Why, the good ol' zombie of course!!! Ever since seeing Romero's "Dawn of the Dead" in my 'yoof' I've been a fan of the shuffling, maggot-ridden undead. There's just something unnerving about such a slow and ponderous predator that is truly gruesome to behold. I could go on a rant about the political aspects of the great 'unwashed/undead' masses having the numbers to overthrow society but that's for a later discussion. Comedy horror is so hard to pull off but the majority of zombie flicks are just that, even the best of them. What are the best undead features out there? Well, that's purely subjective.

I didn't want to start without mentioning that on a recent pokemon forum there's been a nice discussion about what to do in the unlikely event of a zombie outbreak. Needless to say, I took it far too seriously.Lol! I would recommend the 'Zombie Survival Handbook' by Max Brooks for such an occasion. As with the films, although it is humorous, about half way through you begin to consider stocking up on canned goods and reading all the survivalist hand books you can get your hands on.

Anyway, let's get on to a review

Bio-Zombie

I think this is a sorta Japanese homage to the classic 'Return of the Living Dead' in as much as that it doesn't take itself too seriously. The comedy works well and yet there's still time for some scary moments. The plot? What, you really need one?

The story revolves around a shopping arcade in Japan where 'Woody Invincible' and 'Crazy Bee' run a bootleg DVD stall. When picking up a car from the garage for their boss they inadvertently run over a man who has just fled from a disastrous bio-weapons arms deal with some Iraqis. Needless to say, the shopping mall soon becomes plagued with the undead and the various survivors must fight their way out. Sounds familiar?

Well, I don't want to give too much away but I, personally, did enjoy this movie. It's a low budget affair. The SFX are pretty poor and the direction keeps changing moods but, after a slow burning start, does come together for a great finale. There are certain daft elements like the zombie sushi chef who has a crush of 'Rolls', the cute heroine of the film. Also,if you're lucky, you'll see the badly subbed version which includes unintentional laughs such as when Woody bursting into a toilet stall only to meet Crazy Bee who was just 'Stooling'!

Okay, it's not a great Zombie film but it does throw a lot into the mix and it's enjoyable for it. Zombie fans should at least get some braaaains from the experience.

:D

Day 3051 : (4)4134790 steps

It's been a busy couple of days at our delivery office as the backlog of mail from various strikes hits. My feet hurt...but not as much as my brain after watching "Cradle 2 The Grave" (2003). Yes, nothing much on telly so I endured this cliched hunk of Hollywood hokum. The sort of film where characters like Tom Arnold's weapons dealer introduces a tank early on in the film and you just know it's gonna be used in the final showdown with the villainous villains at the climax of the film.

I kinda feel sorry for Jet Li. Jackie Chan had the problem of trying to fill Bruce Lee's espadrilles which he overcome by incorporating comedy and mad stunts. What can Jet offer that's new to the martial arts genre? Well, in this effort, sadly nothing. Li is a very talented martial artist who has been let down by poor action direction and, though not so important in kung fu flicks, bad scripts. You can get by with the latter as long as the former is jaw-dropping enough. Just ask Tony Jaa! It seems that 'Action Direction' now seems to involve just getting as many cuts into the shortest amount of time rather than choreographing larger, more fluid scenes.

Aside from Jet Li, let's not dwell too long on DMX's performance either, which was neither convincing or compelling...add one annoying child, a posse of improbable bank robbers (one comic, one sexy and one wannabe) and the aforementioed Arnold character who seems to be able to procure any weapon short of a nuclear device (maybe if you asked nicely, he could sort you one) and you've got something that resembles any other slice of action picture from the last twenty years or so.

I gave up half way through and started playing my DS. I wanted to rewatch 'The Beyond' or something similar but the wife hates scary movies so I was shit outta luck on that score. But which movie terrifies me the most?

I'm not sure....

:D

Day 3050 : (4)4115112 steps

That number in brackets refers to the digit which cannot be shown. Yes, I've clocked the step counter 3 times and now it's on it's fourth cycle.

Anyway, only a brief post tonight...well, this morning. It's the wee hours and I've got work tomorrow :(

Just finished rewatching David Lynch's "Inland Empire". I was hoping that maybe it would make more sense the second time around but what was I thinking?! It's not supposed to make sense! It's just one emotional, visual, aural rollercoaster that you hope will never end. It certainly continues long after the credits and beyond removing the DVD from the player, etc.

Sadly I wasn't lucky enough to catch this one in the cinema (the last Lynch movie I caught at the flicks was "The Lost Highway"....I don't really live near enough to a decent indie cinema. Bah!) but I can imagine the added impact it would have. On first viewing I was dubious about the change of media from film to digital but this time I saw past that which I suppose made it worth sitting deathly still for three hours.

Okay, I admit I've loved Lynch for a while (not the way you're thinking!! ;) ) so I could be accused of being biased but what the heck. I like a movie that doesn't hand it all to you on a plate and then continues to spoon feed you throughout. Not saying that's always a bad thing but it's been the death of Hollywood for me. So little imagination these days. It just seems to be endless remakes, sequels and comicbook translations...wait, poor comic book translations (I saw 'The Spirit' the other day...ouch!).

Still, I said this would be short. Nature calls and also my duvet.

More sooner rather than later.

:D

Day 3035 : (4)3963329 steps

Everyone has to start somewhere and this is it! This first post'll be a bit basic as I get to grips with the basics of blogging so you'll have to excuse me. Although the title refers to my little gizmo friend, I do not intend for this blog to be exclusively about it, but in recent years I've been using various forums to keep track of the fella but the forums come and go so a more permanent home is required methinks! Hence the here and now.
First, a brief history of time.
I originally started writing about the pedometer on the Nintendo of Europe (NoE) forums a few years back. It was probably one of the longest running posts on the Pokemon boards and then NoE decided to delete their forums with no warning so I had no chance to back up any of the info therein, the swines!!! Afterwards, I've drifted from various pokemon-based forums writing about it as well as writing to the Nintendo Official Magazine about it ( I had the Star Letter, dontcha know?! :p ).
The picture above is not my personal Pika (I don't own a digital camera nor a decent mobile phone. Lol!) but an image I've lifted from google somewhere. Cute, isn't it?

So why am I so 'fixated' with this sweet, defunct little blighter? Well, it all boils down to my amazement at how resilient this tiny contraption has been over the years. Yes, do the maths, my Pedometer has been ticking for over eight years now and, being a delivery postman, has covered a ridiculous amount of ground.

'But how has the battery lasted this long, you incredulous ol' fool?!', you may ask. Well, Nintendo,in their wisdom incorporated a little memory so when the first battery was at death's door, a quick switch to a fresh battery allowed Pika to retain it's records. In eight years, with careful management of power, it's still running on it's second battery. Wowza! Not only that, but this little device is harder than Chuck Norris! It has survived many a fall, including one into a toilet (ewww!) and many a hard surface yet it refuses to die. How can I not admire the tyke!?

Recently, Nintendo have announced remakes of the Pokemon games that this accompanied back in the day and with the new versions (Pokemon HeartGold and SoulSilver) will come a new updated version of the Pedometer. Exciting as that is for myself, I still refuse to turn my back on my old friend.

Later, I will add some links to some of my older posts about Pika but in the meantime, I'll explain a little more about myself and what else will pop up on this blog (you didn't think it would be exclusively about the pedometer, did you?! Sheesh!! How sad would that be....?).

My main interests, other than Pokemon, are music and movies, music from the movies and maybe the occasional book or two so expect my two cent's worth about any of the above.

What type of music? Well, all sorts really though being an ol' metalhead/punk I do have a soft spot for the noisier stuff but that is by no means exclusive. For example, as I type I'm listening to the Midnighters 'Sexy Ways' which is not abrasive in any way!

What type of films? Again, all sorts but don't expect too much about big Hollywood releases as they rarely turn me on. A close friend of mine collects pre-cert video tapes so I am regularly exposed to 70s/80s daftness which suits me fine as they just don't make stuff like that anymore. I've always been a horror fan but also love a bit of old skool Kung-fu, comedies and sci-fi/fantasy. This again is hardly exclusive but just a general idea of what you might expect. Expect the unexpected!

What type of music from movies? Again (again), I'm not talking the Hollywood soundtrack stuff here. I have a big softspot for Italian movie soundtracks but....well, you get the idea!!!

Books?! Well, I don't read quite as much as I'd like these days (being a parent of two 'hellboys') but that could change so I thought I'd mention them just in case.

So, in brief, which is hardly what I've been so far, this blog will be more geared to music and film that anything else, with little asides about my pedometer.

Oh, did I mentioned gaming?!

XD

:D